I am not really sure where to start? I can say that since I was a little girl I have always done for others in hopes that I would get the same in return. It made me feel good to give…and at 5…you just assume that everyone feels good when they give…and then as you grow older, wonder if nobody feels good. Mainly because, nobody gives.
When I was in elementary school, I realized that being like this did nothing but result in being bullied. Which makes me sad looking back, as an adult. I wish I could say that I am better for it….
The truth is….people often mistake my kindness for weakness. They walk all over me because they know I am not really ever going to leave. I am consumed by guilt and regret not accepting everyone for who they are. Having done this since the age of time…I wonder I at 33 years old I should accept myself more. And, if this is what makes me a bitch, then so. be. it. [said in Ursula’s voice of course].
Enjoy all the blatant defense mechanisms, like justification and rationalization I participate in just so I can prove to people that I am not this horrid emotionless creature people assume me to be…and all the ways I disprove the theory that I am kind while verbally assaulting people who consistently destroy me for reasons I will never understand.
#boom….this is how bitch chronicles were born.